Men In Control (Smith Brothers Complete Series) Page 4

  “Sorry, I…” Suddenly she pulls back, shattering the magic of the moment. “I better…”

  The color drains from her face, she’s shaken and terrified, looking at me like I have lost my mind. Maybe I have, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting her. I try to reach out and touch her, to bring her back to me because I already miss her like crazy. For a moment, my body felt whole with her pressed up against me. Now I’m empty. I’m lost, floating aimlessly with no purpose. I really need her back here.

  But she isn’t coming back. Not a chance. Tami backs towards the door with her bag gripped tightly to herself and she runs. Her shoes clip clop along the floor as she vanishes taking all hope and wonderful feeling with her.

  “No, wait!” I call loudly, but it doesn’t make any difference. It’s too late. She’s gone.

  Fuck. My eyes hit the ground and sorrow floods me. What the hell have I done? Why has she run away?

  A door bangs and it makes me jump. Excitement flows as I think it’s Tami coming back for me… but then I spot Oliver’s face, and everything drains away. Of course she isn’t back here! She doesn’t want me.

  “You’re still here?” Oliver asks. “Again? What is going on with you?”

  “Oh, I’m… just headed out,” I reply with a fake smile. “I was just finishing up.”

  “Again? Is everything alright with you, Brad? Is there something that I should know?”

  I could tell him and get some real advice here. Oliver might not have much of a love life himself at the moment, as far as I know, but he could give me some real insight into this. But what if he yells at me because Angelo was right, and Tami is perfect for me… yet I’ve just fucked it up by moving much too quickly.

  “Er, nothing.” I will tell him when I know what is going on. “I’m okay. Just busy, that’s all.”

  “Right, well I’m leaving. Are you coming?” I nod, barely able to speak. “Come on then.”

  Oliver talks as we leave, filling in all the silence with whatever he can think of. I answer ever so often when it seems appropriate, but really, I’m lost in my own thoughts. My lips are still tingling from that amazing kiss. I want more. I still want to be able to hold her, but she didn’t, so I need to be much more careful. I can’t let that show when we’re together next. I really don’t want to freak her out.

  “Did you hear that?” I suddenly jump, spinning around. “Am I losing my mind here?”

  “What did you hear?” Oliver gives me a curious look. “I didn’t hear anything.”

  I touch the back of my neck where my hairs are standing on edge. I definitely have a weird feeling like I’m being watched… but since Oliver seems just fine, I have to assume that it’s in my head. I’m going crazy because I’m so lost in thoughts about Tami. What the hell am I going to do with myself?

  “Sorry, I just thought that I heard footsteps, that’s all.” I wobble my head. “I don’t know.”

  “I didn’t hear anything,” Oliver replies. “I think it’s been too many late nights for you.”

  “Ironically, it hasn’t been,” I try to laugh. “I’ve been behaving for a change.”

  “Well, maybe that’s a problem,” Oliver laughs. “Maybe you need to get some.”

  God, if only he knew how much I needed it. But it really feels like I only need it from one person, and that’s a problem. Tami made it clear by running away that this isn’t what she wants as well so I need to get that idea out of my head. Maybe another one night stand is what I need, just to cleanse my pallet.

  Chapter Five

  Tami

  I can hardly get my feet through the door because I’m so terrified. This is terrible, I’ve made such a mess of things, and now I need to try and work out how I’m going to face the music. Last night, I decided to stay behind to see if I had feelings for Brad, and it ended up in us kissing. Like, seriously kissing, all passionate and everything. It was amazing, the hottest thing ever… but I had to stop it. I can’t kiss Brad Smith even if there are feelings in the way. I don’t know how I let Ruby talk me into that. I’ve dipped my pen in the company ink and now I don’t know how to deal with it. I don’t know how to face Brad.

  “Hey, Tami.” Angelo’s voice rings out behind me like a warm and enveloping hug. “What are you doing loitering out here like a hoodlum? Just because I’m not your boss anymore, doesn’t mean you get to slack off.”

  “Angelo!” I grab his arm desperately, afraid to let him go. “I need to talk to you.”

  “Is everything okay?” He narrows his eyes and examines me closely. Not that he’ll be able to guess what’s going on. It’s too wild. “You look kinda freaked out. Has something happened?”

  “I don’t know how to answer that. I just need to have a word with you.”

  “Right. Okay. Come into my office where we can have a proper talk.”

  My whole body shakes as I follow behind Angelo. My eyes hit the floor, so I don’t have to look and talk to anyone. Least of all Brad. He must be here. He’s in before me every single day so I don’t see why today will be any different. I can’t even begin to think about seeing him until I’ve had this conversation.

  Not that I have even the slightest clue what I’m going to say. How do I even begin to explain this?

  “Right, okay.” Once we’re alone, Angelo closes the door behind him, and he takes a seat. “What’s happening?”

  I sit opposite him, a place that I have been a million times before, but never like this, and I sigh. I really don’t want to end up losing my job because of this and there’s no telling how Angelo will react. He’s a great guy and he would probably be really sympathetic, but this involves his brother and the Smith family are tight.

  “I… I want to come back and work for you, Angelo. I miss being on the creative team.”

  “But Brad needs you,” he shoots back quickly. “You’ve been helping him out a lot.”

  “I know, but I think I’m done. I can’t see what else I can do for him really.”

  Angelo knows that I’m lying. We both do. But I really need him to just buy the lie. Just for now.

  “Okay, is there any other reason that you want to share with me? We can talk about anything, okay?”

  I shrug rapidly. “There’s nothing else, that’s the only reason. I just want to get back to my real job.”

  “You can.” Relief fills me up… but only for a moment. “On Monday though. For now, Brad needs you.”

  “He really doesn’t though. He has everything more than under control. It’ll be fine.”

  Fucking hell, Angelo won’t bend to me. He seems to understand that there is more going on, but he won’t allow me to leave because of that. Is it because I’m not being honest? I need to silently communicate that I’m desperate. That I really need him to just understand and help me out.

  “I would much prefer you to just stay with him for the last couple of days. My brother is a sticky one, but he needs you. He really does need you. You are working wonders with him.”

  I slide my eyes closed for just a moment and imagine what it will be like to see Brad again, to work alongside him after that kiss, and it’s just unthinkable. It makes me shudder hard.

  “It’s only two more days, including today,” Angelo continues. “You can do it, Tami.”

  I can see it in his eyes that he isn’t going to back down. There’s not a chance in hell. He really wants me to stay with Brad and there has to be a reason for that. Angelo hasn’t ever let me down before, so I need to roll with it. I’m going to have to suck it up and go with it… it has to be career focused, doesn’t it? Maybe I won’t get the promotion if I walk away from Brad now. It’s like a test of endurance or something.

  “Okay, fine. Two more days.” I nod. “I can do that, but then I want to be back here.”

  Angelo laughs and nods at me. “Okay good. Looking forward to having you back here.”

  I try to calm my racing heart as I finally make my way to Brad’s office. I’m going to have to get it togethe
r just enough to make it through today. Then tomorrow, but I can’t worry about tomorrow. I need to just focus on the present moment first. The first bit will probably be the worst, won’t it? When I see him again knowing that the last time, we were together we were frantically kissing like crazy. After that, we can just carry on as normal.

  I suck in a couple of deep breaths, pushing the intense humiliation to one side, and I finally step inside. My heart beats in my mouth, my whole body stops as I finally clock him. Fuck, does he have to be so damn handsome? Making it even harder for me to be around him. Now, I’m just waiting for him to see me too.

  “Ah, Tami.” His eyes slide upwards to meet mine. “You’re here. Good. I’m glad to see you.”

  “Er, yes, I’m here. Erm… right…” Fuck, I can’t find any words. “I… what do you need me to do?”

  “Let’s just carry on as normal, shall we? Act like we didn’t lose our minds last night?”

  A laughter bursts from me. I can’t help it. I was expecting things to be all weird, but this is better.

  “Okay, fair enough. I think we can do that.” I nod slowly. “So, get back to filing then?”

  “If you don’t mind. I think that’s for the best. Whatever you can see that needs doing.”

  I smile and nod at him, feeling all of the tension simply rolling away. We just lost our mind last night, that’s all. There isn’t anything for me to worry about. It isn’t going to be weird, nor will it affect my promotion. It’s going to be fine. I just need to crack on and get through the next couple of days.

  I’m surprisingly glad that Angelo made me stay. Now we can just get past this. I don’t think that Brad ‘needs’ me as much as Angelo made out, but that’s okay. I’m just happy that I can complete what I started. I won’t have the regret that a silly ill-advised kiss has ruined my promising career.

  “Girl, what is going on with you?” Ruby laughs as she sits across the table from me. “Dinner twice in a week? That isn’t like you at all. Usually, it’s impossible to get you out on a work night.”

  “You know that it’s been one of those weeks.” I roll my eyes. “With Brad and everything.”

  “Yeah, so what’s going on with that? One minute, you hate him, then it seems like you might have feelings for him, now… well, I don’t know what is going on now. You need to fill me in.”

  I lean forward and clasp my head between my hands. “Oh, I don’t know. I can’t explain it.”

  “This sounds juicy! You have to fill me in. My week has been so boring. I need some excitement.”

  “This isn’t so much excitement. More stress. I don’t know what to do about it.”

  “Is there something there between you and Brad then? Did you figure it out?”

  I shrug helplessly. “I guess so, yes. Since last night we ended up kissing…”

  “You what?” Ruby exclaims much too loudly. I’m sure that everyone in the restaurant is looking at us. “You kissed him? Are you serious? That is some crazy gossip, you know that, right? For you to act that way…”

  “It’s really out of my character, isn’t it? And now… well, I don’t know how to behave.”

  “How did you not tell me this last night?” Ruby looks saddened. “I could have helped you.”

  “I didn’t know what to think about it last night. I was ashamed. I just… I needed to figure it out.”

  “And what did you figure out? Did you work out how you feel?”

  I shake my head, now taking the turn to be sad. “No, I haven’t worked it out at all.”

  “You must like him, or you wouldn’t have risked your job,” she muses. “And how was it today? Was there any chemistry between the pair of you? Did he bring it up at all?”

  I shiver thinking about how close me and Brad felt today. Having a laugh and turning it in to a joke was so much better than stressing out and having awkwardness between us once more. There was a definite chemistry sizzling between us today. It was undeniable, but we both know that we can’t go there again, I’m sure…

  “He just said that we should move past for both of us losing our minds last night. What do you think it means?”

  “Well, that depends.” Ruby taps her chin thoughtfully. “How did you leave it last night?”

  “I ran off. I got all weird and ran away because I freaked out.” I cringe as I admit this.

  “Yeah okay, so he probably thinks that you just want to forget about it. That’s why he said that.”

  “You think so?” Uh oh, my pulse races much too quickly for my liking. “So, what do I do?”

  “What do you want to do? That’s what you need to figure out? Because what you do next will determine how things go. If you want to just forget about it and move on, then just think you only have one more day with him and get through it like you did today. But if you don’t… well, then you need to kiss him again.”

  Wow. Those are two utterly terrifying ideas. The concept of moving on and acting like this didn’t happen scares me because I don’t think that’s a feeling, I will ever get again with anyone else… but I can’t make the first move and kiss him. How the hell will I ever work up the bravery to do that?

  “Is there a third option?” I practically beg my friend. “Something easier.”

  “Sure, there is. You can do the adult thing and talk to him about it. Express your feelings, find out his, and make a plan from there. That would be easier for both of you because you each know where you stand.”

  I know what she’s saying, and it makes a lot of sense, but I just can’t see me working up to that.

  “What would you do if you were me?” I ask instead. “How would you deal with this?”

  “Girl, you know me. I would just grab him and kiss him already. Screw all the messing around. I would just cave to the passion and finally get some because, my God, you have waited around long enough.”

  That’s a bit much. This all is. It’s incredibly overwhelming because it’s so new, and also because it feels like there is a time bomb about to explode at the end of tomorrow which really puts the pressure on.

  “You know what, I can’t talk about it anymore,” I eventually say decisively. “I don’t know what I’m going to do yet. Let’s talk about Chelsea’s engagement party tomorrow instead. What are you going to wear…?”

  Chapter Six

  Brad

  She won’t meet my eye, I think sadly as I watch Tami keeping herself excessively busy, tying up all the loose ends that she has created while working for me. This is a nightmare. We really don’t have that long.

  This is painful. It makes the end of us today much harder to deal with. Wednesday was crazy. Some wild things happened. To be honest, kissing Tami only confirmed what Angelo wanted me to see. I don’t know if Tami is ‘perfect’ or that we will last forever, but there isn’t anyone that I have ever wanted to give a chance like her. She intrigues me, she’s the one for me… for now. Which is why I knew that the best thing to do was to make a joke out of it, to make it easier for us yesterday, and it really did pave over the cracks.

  But now we are both acutely aware that it’s our last day together and it’s really hard. Even though she will still be in the office with me, it won’t be the same. We won’t be able to have our private chats and our jokes. I won’t be able to admire her as she works. I won’t be able to figure out if this is going to work.

  How am I going to see if she feels the same way that I do if she won’t even meet my eye?

  “Are you still staying for a drink?” I ask her in what I hope isn’t a desperate tone of voice. “After work. I know that you have that engagement party to get to, but it would still be awesome if we could…”

  She finally swings her head around and stares at me, her eyes filled with shock. “Oh yes, of course!”

  “You didn’t forget, did you?” I try to laugh but the sound is too strangled. “We need to talk about your job.”

  “My promotion.” She smiles to herself. “I’m really excited. I know this is
you putting your neck out for me and I really do appreciate it. You don’t know how much I want to work hard for you.”

  As we talk about work, she finds it easy to meet my gaze. But I don’t just want to avoid the topic because it’s awkward. This might be our last chance to have this talk. It’s crazy how hard this is for me. At thirty five years of age, I should be so much better at having any kind of relationship talk.

  “Well, I am glad to have you here.” How can I turn this conversation around? I need to find a way to make it smooth. “You are a great asset to this company and I’m glad I got the chance to see that in you.”

  She moves closer to me, perching on the edge of my desk. “That means so much to me. Especially coming from you. I really admire everything that you have done here. It’s really incredible. You’re an inspiration.”

  I reach out and touch her hand as an automatic reaction, nearly snapping back at the buzzing shooting through me. See, this is why I want to give Tami a chance, because I haven’t ever felt anything like this with anyone before. It’s always just been about one thing. A quickie before heading back to my busy life, but for Tami I want to make time. My damn brothers were right, all of them, when they told me that I needed to get a life outside of work, that I should get some kind of love life. Not that I can ever admit that to them.

  “Well, we can talk about it some more after work, can’t we? Figure out what we’re going to do.”

  “I can’t wait for it. I’m looking forward to learning what I can offer you.”

  My mind immediately jumps to all of the things that she can offer me… things that I definitely shouldn’t be thinking about. Not if I want this conversation to be a decent one rather than a sexually charged mess. Not that it can be anything else with this woman. She honestly drives me crazy.