Intoxicated Read online

  Fuck, Ryan. My eyes loll to the back of my head, the hot bliss erupts like a freaking volcano. Imagining that it’s my boss just makes it all too intense for me, it’s all too much. I might not have had him yet, but I just know that he will be freaking incredible. I only have to look at him to know that he could set my body alight by one touch. Oh, Ryan Wilson, sir…

  Of course, he is still my boss, even in my fantasies of him. I like the power as well. Because I’m so strong and confident, it’s sexy to have him in control. It sends a shiver up and down my spine and makes my stomach churn with excitement. It makes me even wetter for him.

  As the image of him inside of my mind gets more frantic with desire, I pick up the pace, plunging in to myself harder and faster and circling my clit with more power as well. He commands me, just like I’m sure he would do in real life. He takes complete control of me and slams his cock deep with in me, causing me to see stars. Each thrust is crazier than the last. The more that Ryan loses himself, the more primal and animalistic he becomes. I love seeing him all unhinged like that, even if it is only in my imagination. I want to see him losing his mask, becoming his true and vulnerable self, letting me see the real him. Because I’m sure that there is another side to him, a less polished, deeper version of himself.

  Whenever I touch myself like this thinking of him, I imagine him like this. I guess that’s because that’s the side of him that I want for myself. I want this hidden side of him. I don’t want the Ryan Wilson that the rest of the world knows. I want the real him.

  I have to bite down on my bottom lip to keep the scream from exploding from my mouth as I reach the tip of my peak. I don’t want to be loud, I don’t want to draw attention to myself and my little secret that easily gets me through a work day, so I need to keep the noise to a minimum. I stifle my own screams as I send myself tumbling in to the abyss of pleasure. It’s hard to keep myself upwards, to stop myself from falling to the ground as my knees turn to jelly. The phenomenal bliss cascades and crashes through my body, shattering me hard. The orgasm is too much for me, it’s crushing me, I don’t know if I can even breathe anymore…

  And then the pleasure subsides, leaving me gasping and panting, a crumpled mess. It will take me a while to calm down, to steady myself enough to go back to work, so I slump down on to the toilet seat and get my breathing much steadier. All while smiling and occasionally laughing to myself. I’m absolutely intoxicated by this man, I need him so badly it hurts, I just hope that eventually, I get that or I’m not going to be able to cope for much longer.

  “Maybe next week is the time,” I whisper to myself. “Maybe I should be the one to make the first move after all.” I have been trying to stop myself from doing it because I don’t want to lose my job but if he isn’t ever going to do it then I will have to, won’t I? Unless I’m prepared to continue living in this limbo forever, which I don’t think I am. It’s already killing me.

  I haven’t dated anyone since I started working with Ryan quite frankly because no one matches up to him. No one is as handsome or muscular, no one is as charismatic either. No one gives me that spark which he does. I don’t think there is anyone to compare to him anywhere. I have gone beyond wanting anyone else anyway. I just want him. There is definitely something special about Ryan and he is fully under my skin now. There is no one else.

  “Right, come on.” I press my hands to my knees and push myself up. “Work time.”

  I don’t quite feel ready yet, I could use a little longer, but I don’t want to give Bella, or anyone cause to come looking for me. Anyway, I need to pick up the photo copying which I’m sure will be done now. That will give me just a little bit longer to sort myself out.

  Chapter 3 – Ryan

  As soon as I see Ben’s name on my phone screen, I know that I’m in trouble. I have been promising to see him for ages now, and I just haven’t made it happen. If it wasn’t for the team building event this week, I could be with him, but he won’t be able to understand that.

  “Hi, Ben.” I start with a happy tone of voice because I don’t want to fight with him. If I can avoid it, I will. “How are things? Sorry I didn’t call you back last week…”

  “It’s okay, I know that you’re busy,” he replies with only a hint of sarcasm in my voice. “When are you coming to see me? You have been promising me a visit for ages.”

  “I know, I know.” I grip on to my fore head as a head ache starts to hit me. “I’m sorry. I wanted to come this week, but we have our annual team building event to keep me busy…”

  “Busy as always,” he interjects. “I know how it goes with you. You never have time.”

  “No, it isn’t like that.” I shake my head as I speak even though I know Ben can’t see me. “I will come and see you once the team building is over. When are you free over the next month?”

  Ben reels off some dates to me and I note them down, hoping that I can make at least some time for him. Ben is the only one out of our brothers who still lives in our home town and it makes me worry about him. I can’t help but worry that he hasn’t moved on at all, that he’s lonely. I wouldn’t want any of my brothers to feel that way and since I am the oldest out of all of us, it feels like my responsibility. But I have enough to juggle with the business alone. It’s hard. If I knew what I could do, I would do anything for any of them… but they don’t ask.

  “Okay, I will sort that out.” I hear Ben huff. “Don’t be like that, I will. I know that I haven’t been around much, I know that I have missed out, but I’ve been making up a life for myself. I have been working hard to get my company off the ground. You know how I want to succeed.”

  “I know, I know.” He sounds weary. “I get it, I do, it’s just… well, we are all very different, aren’t we? We all have different views and out looks. That’s just how it is.”

  I don’t know what to make of that. I don’t know if he is just stating a fact or if this is supposed to be a dig, but I don’t rise to the bait because I don’t want it to escalate. Ben is right anyway; he doesn’t have the same burning ambition to succeed that I do. He isn’t focused on making something of himself in the business world. He might be thirty years old, only two years younger than me, but we couldn’t be more different if we tried.

  “Well, once I get my schedule from Sara, I will let you know, okay? I will arrange some dates with you, Ben, and we can spend some time together. I think we need that.”

  Once he is in agreement with me, and it finally feels like the tension from the conversation is gone, we chat a little while longer and catch up on one another’s lives before it’s time for us to say goodbye. Unfortunately, I can’t talk for too long before today is the day to travel up to the Chambers Resort and I need to get going. It doesn’t exactly look good if the boss is late.

  I grab my bags and head towards the front door, my mind desperately wondering where this event will lead. I still cling on to the sensation that something is going to change here, that it will be significant, and I don’t know why. I can’t pin point why I think that exactly, but I do.

  I slip in to my car and toss my bag on to the back seat before bringing the car to life. Just before I press my foot on the gas to get going, my cell phone rings out once more. I grab it, expecting to see Ben’s name on the screen again because there is something that he forgot to say in the first place, but instead, I find Sara’s name staring back at me.

  “Sara?” I mutter in shock as my heart stops beating. “Why is Sara calling me?”

  There is only one way to find out, but I’m oddly nervous to hit that answer button. I don’t know what it is because I’m sure it will just be work related, but for some reason, I feel strange.

  “Stop being an idiot.” I shake my head to try and stop myself from being stupid. I find the answer button and hit it and press the phone up to my ear, trying to ignore the way that my hand is shaking like I’m actually terrified to see what Sara has to say. “Hello, Sara?”

  “Oh, Ryan, thank you so much for
answering.” She sounds out of breath and seriously stressed. I’m glad I got over myself and answered her. “I’m having serious issues. I don’t know what is going on, but my car won’t start. It’s driving me insane. I don’t know how I am going to make it to the resort without my car and Bella has already left…”

  “Oh, I can give you a ride.” This is a simple problem with a very obvious solution. Thank God for that. “I know where you live. It isn’t too far from here; I can come and get you.”

  “I don’t want to put you out, but it would mean a lot to me. If you don’t mind?”

  I let out a little laugh. “It really isn’t an issue. I can’t have my personal assistant missing the most important event of the year, can I? Especially since you have organized it all.”

  “You are such a super star, honestly,” Sara gasps, clearly relieved. “I will wait outside.”

  I feel oddly peppy as I start the drive, taking the tiny detour towards Sara’s place. It will be nice to have her in the car with me, to have some company on the drive. She is great company and we get along well. Plus, the more I get used to her, the less my mind will wander over the days that we are at Chambers Resort. I don’t want to be thinking about her in that way.

  But I realize my mistake the moment I pull up outside the side walk by Sara’s home and I catch a glimpse of those luscious legs of hers. Even though she wears short shirts to work so I get to see a lot of her every single day, in her summer dress which is blowing up a little in the light breeze I can see even more, and my mouth is dry already. I am supposed to be getting used to her, adjusting myself so I’m not thinking of her in any kind of sexual way, and I have failed already. With in seconds, I am already looking at her in an inappropriate way.

  “Oh, you are such a life saver.” Without knowing what is going on inside of my head, Sara swings the door to my car open and tosses her bag in the back next to mine. In that moment, it oddly feels like we are a couple going on a mini vacation together. A mini break where it’s going to get hot and steamy in the bedroom… oh God. “Thank you so much for this.”

  She slides in to the passenger’s seat and straps herself in, pulling the strap across her ample cleavage, drawing my eyes to them. I never get to see this much of her, and it causes my breath to get stuck in my throat. I can hardly breathe, never mind speak.

  “Okay, I’m ready.” She beams at me from ear to ear. “Shall we get going?”

  “Y… yes.” I don’t know why I’m stammering; this is awful. “Let’s get going.”

  I turn the car on again and start driving down the road, my head all foggy now with thoughts of Sara. She has me kinda drunk and confused, all messy and full of desire for her. I need to make some kind of normal conversation happen so that I don’t end up making a mess.

  “So, what activity is first on the list?” I sound mono tone. This isn’t great. “For the er, team building, I mean? Do you have an itinerary or anything like that?”

  “I’m sure there will be one, but I don’t have it yet.” Sara grins. Her eyes twinkle with excitement. She’s looking more beautiful than I have ever seen her before. Especially since she has cracked open the car window ever so slightly and the breeze is tangling through her hair. “Bella was asking me the same thing, but I think that’s just because she wants to know when the break times will be. She’s looking forward to the boozy meals and swimming.”

  “Hmm, I’m looking forward to that too,” I say without thinking, all of a sudden making me sound incredibly unprofessional. “I mean…” There is a heat traveling through my body. “I’m looking forward to all of it, of course, but the boozy lunches are where the communication really flows. Plus, everyone has a good time. That’s what all of this is about, isn’t it?”

  “It sure is. I think we all need it as well. It has been a stressful few weeks. For you in particular. But now all the deals have been done so you can relax with us all.”

  There is definitely something charged about the way that she says this, something sexual which gets my heart racing faster. Sara is usually very cautious about what she says to me, she is friendly rather than flirty which has allowed me to keep my fantasies to a minimum. But now… well, I definitely felt a little sizzle there, it seems like things really might be about to change between us. Especially if I can’t control myself.

  No, I really shouldn’t let that happen. I have to be the one in control of everything. I am the boss and I need to be the one who keeps my cravings under control. I can’t cave, I really can’t.

  “I suppose we do need time to relax.” I shoot her a smile, hoping that I am only coming across as friendly. “Especially because I’m pretty sure that with all of these new deals secured, we are only going to get busier. Sorry to put a damper on the fun…”

  “Oh no, not for me. I like being busy. I thrive off of it. You know me.”

  We share that in common. I am exactly the same. That’s why this business has grown up from the ground, I have built it up from nothing because I thrive when it’s busy and under pressure. I guess that is why me and Sara get on so well…

  But it’s also why I don’t want to think of her as anything other than my personal assistant. Because I need her in my life, I have to keep her on top of my work schedule.

  “Well, that’s good.” I hope we get to the resort soon enough because I don’t know how much longer I can stand being in this confined space with Sara. I am practically breathing her in here. “That’s why I like having you on my team.”

  “I like being on your team as well,” she purrs back, much too seductively for my liking. “It’s the best job that I have ever had in my twenty eight years of life.”

  Chapter 4 – Sara

  I picked the bedroom next to Ryan’s thinking that it would be fun to sleep next to him, but now as I lie on the bed with him inches away from me, I realize my mistake. It’s actual torture. All I want to do is run through those doors and to jump on to the bed beside him. I mean, something has to happen between us now. That car ride was insane. I could feel the air burning like crazy between us the whole time and I know for sure that Ryan could as well.

  But what now? Huh? What can I do now? I upped the ante a bit and I flirted with him, but I don’t know if that’s enough. I don’t know if me and him are going to go anywhere. I’m starting to get incredibly frustrated now, this is killing me. I want him so badly. I would love nothing more than to have him in the bed next to me so I could finally get my hands on his sexy manly body. I can just imagine how muscular he really is under that shirt of his.

  “Oh, God.” I grab a pillow and press it to my face while I groan. “I have liked him for such a long time. I really, really like him. What the hell is wrong with me?”

  I haven’t ever liked anyone as much as I have Ryan and I don’t think it’s just because he is taboo, the one person who I can’t really have because he is my boss. I really do like him because of the person he is. He draws me in because he’s such an incredible man.

  “Maybe I should leave the job,” I moan to myself, as I roll over on to my front. “Perhaps then me and Ryan could be together without any complications.”

  The only problem is I really like my job and I also don’t want to lose Ryan completely. That’s a risk, isn’t it? I could leave and then we could still not end up together. I don’t know. I like seeing him every single day even if right now it isn’t exactly as I would like. It’s fun to be in his company and to have my little fantasies… I just want the fantasies to come true.

  Knock, knock. I bolt up right in my bed as someone knocks on my door. I can only imagine that it’s Ryan. He must be in his room, feeling just as tortured as I am. Knock, knock.

  Maybe now will be the moment, I think excitedly as I bounce up, glad to finally get that much needed relief. Oh God, it might be exactly what I have been waiting for…

  But as I swing the door open and Bella greets me, I do my best to hide my disappointment. I’m glad to see my friend, but at the same time, I was
looking forward to Ryan.

  “I’m so glad that you managed to get here,” my friend gushes with excitement. “What happened to you? How did you manage to arrive? I was so worried…”

  “Ryan gave me a ride in the end since he doesn’t live too far away from me.”

  Bella claps her hands to her mouth in shock. “You didn’t orchestrate that, did you?”

  “Of course not.” I roll my eyes in an over the top fashion. “It just worked out well.”

  She enters my room with me and plops on to the bed with her hands behind her back and her eyes up at the ceiling. “This is a nice room. Better than mine.” Luckily, she isn’t saying it in an annoyed way. “So, it’s just a boozy dinner tonight, huh? I like that plan.”

  “Yep, that’s what I was told.” I nod my head. “They want to give everyone time to arrive.”

  “So, since we have time, would you like to go for a swim? That pool is looking gorgeous.”

  Hmm, I agree with that, and it does feel like the perfect time. There is no telling how much free time we will have once tomorrow starts. Plus, it will help me to get all of this sexual frustration out of my system. “Sounds good. I have a new bikini with me…”

  I grab the skimpy red material from my suit case and show it to my friend who squeals with delight. “That is so sexy, Sara. Honestly, you are crazy hot. This is mine.”

  She lifts up her top and shows me the black bikini she has on underneath. Seeing that I am about to change and join her, Bella whips off her clothing and leaves it on the bed. It seems like we are walking down towards the pool in our swim wear. Fine by me.

  I dress quickly and we head down to the pool. There is a glimmer of excitement racing through my body as I go. I’m so looking forward to jumping in to that water and relaxing a little. There are some other members of staff already in the water as well, enjoying the time off before everything kicks off. Ryan isn’t one of them, but that probably isn’t a bad thing. I don’t think that I would be able to calm down if he was. I’d be too busy wanting to catch his eye.